Zero Visibility
by Mayonaka Kitsune
Summary: DISCONTINUED Ch. 7 up The Eds have never doubted their friendship with one another. But Eddy's recurring nightmares coupled with Edd's rising annoyance at Eddy's selfish ways are threatening to change things for the trio.
1. Where am I?

LEGAL STUFF: Ed, Edd n Eddy belong to the very talented and much envied Danny Antonucci. I'm not responsible for creating it, only butchering it via this fanfic.

SKIPPABLE CHAPTER NOTES: This is a rather serious prelude, but the story gets a considerable amount of humor (if you can call it that :P) in the next chapters. I can't seem to write completely serious stuff with these characters, so be prepared for some fluctuation with this story. ^^;

~Kit

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"Where the heck am I!?"

Eddy's voice echoed throughout the darkness. _Not this again… anything but this._

Everywhere he looked, he was surrounded by a heavy, gray fog that could have been mistaken for smoke, had it not been for the absence of the choking, unsavory odor. No, this fog had a choking quality to it, but one significantly different from smoke… it suffocated from the outside the body, not through inhalation. Despite the incredible vastness of this place, the omnipresent fog made Eddy feel like a claustrophobic trapped in a crowded elevator with no way out.

But at least, had that been the case, he'd have someone to keep him company.

He had been here many times. It was all familiar, and yet it was quite unsettling all the same. Though he recognized the place, he still didn't know where exactly it was. The familiar thick haze constricted him, and no matter where the boy turned, all he saw was the drab grayness that swirled around him. He couldn't even see the hands he held out inches in front of his face.

The only comfort he had - although minor - was that he knew he was standing on solid ground. He couldn't see it, but he could feel the cold, pebbly surface beneath his feet. It was an uncomfortable surface that, no matter where or how far he walked, had never given way to a more comfortable texture like grass, carpet, or even cement. However, even this rough terrain was better than the thought of simply floating without direction or control in this unnatural mist. He was on firm ground. He could walk wherever he wanted without being a complete slave to the mist that enveloped him.

_But what's the point of walking if it's all the same?_

Eddy stood helplessly and looked around, knowing that only the cool mist would be there to greet him at every turn. He clenched the hem of his undershirt, unconsciously twisting and wringing it in his hands. "Hello!?" he called out, knowing well that his calls wouldn't be answered. Not yet. He was alone in a darkness that he felt was threatening to consume him. But he had always called out nonetheless… the sound of his own voice brought a small amount of comfort to him. It was the only voice he could trust here.

He shuddered as a chill went through his body. The mist was getting colder, and his sleeveless shirt and boxers did little to protect him from the chill.

Eddy sat on the pebbly ground and pulled his knees to his chest. He wanted to call out for Double D, Ed… or anyone for that matter. Hell, even Kevin! But he knew from past experiences not to; that it would only bring their mocking laughter. The laughter that haunted this place… as ghostly and eerie as the voices were, they belonged unmistakably to the children of the cul-de-sac. The kids he spent every day conversing with, even the two he trusted the most… how could he _not_ recognize those voices? He knew that they would soon come to him, insulting him and jeering him, whether he called out or not. Speaking their names had always simply hastened their arrival. Eddy didn't know what was worse… being alone in this creepy place, or hearing the unseen presence of his "friends" taunting him mercilessly.

Eddy remained curled up for what seemed like forever before he heard an impish giggle. _Here it comes…_ Eddy thought, preparing himself for the onslaught of verbal abuse that was sure to come. He only hoped it would go by quickly this time.

But something was different. It was the voice of only one… no one was joining in the solitary, unseen youth's laughter. Eddy blinked and peered into the haze warily, as if expecting to actually see someone emerge. That giggle…

"Well, well, Eddy," came an all too familiar voice. "Seems the shoe is on the other foot." The voice was familiar, but the tone was not. It felt as if it was laced with a sort of smug contempt.

Eddy watched as, for the first time ever, he saw the mist clear up in front of him just enough to see beyond the swirling grays. He could make out the outline of the scornful voice's source. He swallowed a lump in his throat, recognizing the silhouette yet wishing he hadn't. The figure came closer to Eddy, enough to where his features could be clearly made out, including the familiar sock cap adorning his head.

"Wouldn't you say?" he asked, looking down at Eddy with a piercing, cold-blooded gaze.

Eddy looked up, almost fearful as he noticed the expression on his friend's face as he looked down upon Eddy's curled up figure.

"Doub… Double D…?"


	2. Morning Mayhem

Eddy woke up with a start.

"That… was new…" he muttered, breathing heavily and wiping a bit of cold sweat from his brow. After a few moments of catching his breath, Eddy glanced at his clock. Ten thirty-eight.

Eddy swallowed another small lump in his throat and lied back on his pillow, still dazed and not quite ready to get up yet. He couldn't get Edd's uncharacteristically callous expression out of his mind.

_What the hell was that? _Eddy thought, bringing the covers up to his chin. Why had it changed? He'd been having that dream for weeks now, why had it suddenly changed? First it was all the kids; now just one. And why Double D? What had he been so angry about?

Eddy blinked and sat back up. "It was just a dream," he scolded himself in an attempt to calm his nerves. "Jeez, Eddy, get a grip."

He yawned and was about to get out of bed, when his door was violently thrust open. The sheer sound of the sliding door slamming against the wall nearly sent Eddy into heart failure. 

"Rise and shine, Eddy!" Edd chirped cheerfully as he stood in the doorway right next to Ed.

"Eddy!" Ed exclaimed, seeing Eddy sitting up in his bed. Before Eddy knew it, he and Edd were running towards him. Eddy knew what was coming.

"Guys, no! Wait!"

"Dogpile!" his two friends cried in unison, jumping on his bed with as much force as they could. This sent Eddy flying to the ceiling. He made a grab for the mirror ball dangling above his bed, but he missed.

"And again!" Edd and Ed exclaimed, jumping on his mattress just as Eddy hit the bed. This sent the startled boy flying up again.

"Woah!!!" Eddy yelled, midair. Dogpiles were one thing, but this was ridiculous. "Stop it!"

"And again!" Edd and Ed chanted, amused, as they continued to jump in synch, tossing Eddy in the air with each landing they made on his bed.

"Would you two-"

"And again!"

"Hey!!! I said for you to-"

"And again!"

"Ah! Ed!! Double D!!!"

"And again!"

"_Enough_!!!"

"And ag-"

Before Ed and Edd could continue their new game, Eddy landed on Ed, who bumped into Edd. The three went tumbling off of the bed and onto the floor.

"Would you cut it out, already!?!?" Eddy yelled at his friends, pinning the two of them to the floor. Ed was grinning widely while Edd was attempting unsuccessfully to suppress a giggle. Eddy froze for a moment, reminded of his identical giggle in the dream. He shook his head quickly, trying to dislodge the memory.

"That was fun, Eddy!" Ed said. "Can we do it again?"

"No!" Eddy jumped off of his two friends and straightened out his shirt. He glanced at Double D quickly before walking to his closet.

"You had caffeine this morning, didn't you, Sockhead?" he asked as he entered the walk-in closet to change, knowing that Edd was rarely this playful unless he'd been subjected to soda or some other caffeinated beverage.

Edd chuckled, sitting on his bed. "Is it that obvious?" he asked, kicking his feet of the edge.

Eddy poked his head out from the closet. "Obvious? You have one sip of soda, and you go off the walls, Double D. You're worse than Ed sometimes," he complained, ducking back into the closet. He finished putting his clothes on and came out, grabbing his comb and standing on a chair in front of his dresser. He began to groom his hair. "I thought you didn't believe in soda in the mornings, anyway? Isn't that _breaking rules_?"

Eddy half-expected a witty retort, but he didn't get it. Instead the hyper Edd merely grinned and jumped on Ed's back, taking the big guy for surprise.

"Ed did it!"

"I did it!" Ed agreed proudly, wobbly from the sudden weight of Edd on his back. "Uh, what'd I do, Double D?" he asked as he regained his balance.

"_You_, Ed," Double D began to explain as he leaned over Ed's head, putting his upside-down face right in front of his, "… need a breath mint. But you _also_ substituted my caffeine-free iced tea for soda when I went to prepare my waffles this morning!" he explained perkily. He hopped off of Ed, sending him falling to the ground.

"Waffles!" Ed cried out as he hit the floor. "Yum."

"Thus sending me into this easily entertained and exceedingly hyperactive state you are witnessing right now!" Edd finished as he bounced over to Eddy, who had been watching the spectacle from his mirror. "Here, let me help you with that," Edd said, grabbing the comb and about to comb his friend's hair for him.

"Uh… no." Eddy grabbed the comb back, but nearly fell of the chair. He stabilized himself and looked at the two. They were now standing next to each other, both wearing a goofy grin. It looked normal on Ed, but on Edd… it was just freaky. 

Eddy sighed and jumped down. Double D was hardly tolerable when he got like this… but it was a welcome distraction, nevertheless. He was going to need all the distractions he could get to keep his mind off of that freaky, almost evil look the same boy had given him in his dream.

"So, Eddy." Edd's sprightly voice jolted Eddy out of his thoughts. "What's on the agenda for today?"

Eddy walked to the door leading to his hallway. "Pigeon hunting, what else? But I can't think on an empty stomach. Let's get some food, boys." He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned to his friends. "Uh, guys?"

Ed was watching Edd, who was sitting in a swivel chair and slowly spinning himself around in circles. "I wanna spin, Double D!" Ed pleaded.

"Are you having fun?" Eddy asked irritably. He crossed his arms and raised an annoyed eyebrow at his unusually easily amused friend. He was hungry, and Edd's little caffeine high was wearing thin on his nerves. "I'd really like to get going sometime today, Sockhead."

Edd looked at Eddy as best he could while spinning in circles, then came to a slow stop, wearing a somewhat sheepish grin. "Heh heh, sorry, Eddy."

Ed was grinning a more playful grin, however, as he stood behind the chair.

"Skip to my lou, my darling!" he said as he took hold of the back of the chair and gave it a mighty spin.

Edd held on to the seat for dear life as he spun wildly around. Eddy couldn't help but laugh as he watched - the look on Edd's face was too priceless.

The force of Ed's spin caused the chair to glide across his room. It continued spinning around until it hit the side of his bed, causing the chair to abruptly stop, which in turn caused Edd to fall to the floor in a dizzy heap.

Edd stood slowly, having a difficult time keeping his balance. "My, the world seems to be rotating at a faster velocity than normal…" he mumbled as he dizzily stumbled about Eddy's room.

"Good one, Ed!" Eddy praised, still laughing.

"I wanna ride!" Ed declared, jumping onto the chair. "Spin cycle! Whites only, don't forget the bleach!"

Eddy finally stopped laughing and caught hold of Edd, who was about to stumble into him. "Not now, Monobrow," Eddy said, still grinning. He patted Edd on the back. "We got breakfast and a scam to cook up. Come on," he said as he led the still wobbly Edd out of the room, motioning Ed to follow.

"Aw, but Eddy!" Ed protested, getting off the chair and following his two friends. "What about the stubborn grass stains?"


	3. Scamblock Evasion

Eddy was throwing out ideas for a new scam as he ate his bowl of Chunky Puffs, careful to wait until he finished chewing to speak in order to avoid a lecture - and a peppy one, no less - from Edd. He had already received one on the count of trying to belch his milk.

Meanwhile Ed, despite already having breakfast earlier, was also eating a bowl of Chunky Puffs… quite literally.

"Ed! That's my mom's good china!"

Ed let out a belch. "Good it was, Eddy!"

Eddy groaned, looking in Edd's direction, expecting another oration on the importance of table manners. But apparently Edd had paid no attention. Eddy frowned and went back to his breakfast.

_Great. I belch my milk, I get a lecture. Ed belches mom's dishes, and he doesn't give a whoop._

Thankfully, his mom was understanding about Ed's unusual eating habits… though, given he knew about those habits, he'd probably still get scolded for having him over to eat in the first place.

Edd, having already eaten, was busying himself with cleaning up Eddy's kitchen. And, really, who was Eddy to complain? Being hyper, Edd needed something to keep himself busy, so what better than cleaning? He loved to clean. Plus, Eddy got out of one of his chores for the day. Killing two birds with one stone.

"I got it!" Eddy said, a thought for a scam finally coming to him. "How about a cruise?"

"We already did that, Eddy," Edd informed him perkily as he finished the dishes in record time. He quickly began cleaning the kitchen window.

"Fine," Eddy huffed, thinking for a moment before his eyes lit up again. "We could hire ourselves out as handymen! We'd make a killing!"

"We did that, too, Eddy," Edd chirped, finishing the window and racing on to wax the floor.

"Err… pet grooming?"

"Been there," Edd said, sliding past Eddy on the now slippery floor, trying to finish the waxing.

"Driving school?"

"Done that," Edd replied, sliding past him again in the opposite direction. Eddy watched dully as his friend glided around back and forth on his kitchen floor, never loosing that silly grin.

"Sell jewelry?"

"Did it, Eddy."

"Sell bikes?"

"Did it, Eddy."

"Sell pets??"

"Did it, Eddy."

"Mow lawns!?"

"Not on your life, Eddy."

Edd suddenly came to a stop next to Eddy, finished with the floor. "And besides, we've already tried that, as well."

Eddy growled in frustration and stood. "Then what haven't we-whoa!" The boy slipped and fell on his backside, sliding to a slow stop in the middle of the kitchen. "What the? Where'd my shoes go?" he asked, looking down at his feet that were now only covered with his socks.

"I needed to take them off so you wouldn't mess up the freshly waxed floor, Eddy," Edd explained, sliding on his own shoeless feet to put away the cleaning supplies under the sink. Eddy blinked.

"When'd you do that?"

"I am a beautiful ballerina, guys!" Ed said, sliding across the floor on the top of his head and spinning in circles. He laughed. "Ten out of ten for the man who loves hens."

"Ed! Don't you _dare_ get dandruff on this floor! I just cleaned it!"

Eddy watched as Edd collided into Ed in an attempt to rush over to him. Ed fell on his stomach and Edd on his back, and the two slid across the room, knocked senseless by the collision.

Suddenly, Eddy had an idea. "Ed! Double D! That's it!"

"Sell clothing equipped with airbags…?" Edd asked woozily, sitting up. His caffeine high was going and he could feel the headache coming already.

Eddy blinked again. "No… but write that down." He rubbed his hands together in excitement. "What I meant was, we'll hold ourselves a floor skating championship!"

"Floor skating!!!" Ed exclaimed, apparently happy with the idea.

"Eddy, your kitchen is far too small to hold an event like that for the entire cul-de-sac," Edd reasoned, rubbing his throbbing head. He adjusted his sock cap. "There's absolutely no way that you could _possibly_…" He trailed off and his headache seemed to double in intensity as he noticed Eddy's grin. "Oh, no. Don't you even think about it!"

"Aw, come on!" Eddy said as he attempted to stand on the slippery surface. After a few unsuccessful attempts, he simply scooted over on his rear to his friend. He put his arm around Edd's shoulder. "The entire first floor of your place is hardwood flooring and tile! It's a floor skater's dream, Double D!"

"Absolutely not!" Edd argued. "That many people sliding around in my house at once is just a disaster waiting to happen! Think of everything that could get broken! Think of all the furniture we'd have to move to avoid injuries! For crying out loud, think of my _cleaning schedule_, Eddy! I only wax the floors on Thursdays!"

"So? What's the big deal? So you wax the floors a little early, who cares? I don't think your parents will lay an egg over it."

"Of course they won't," Ed agreed. "Double D's parents aren't chickens, silly."

"You're missing the point, Eddy," Edd argued. "I have a strict cleaning schedule, and I plan to adhere to it completely and without flaw. If I were to wax the floors today - a _Monday_ - then I'd be setting into place a multitude of repercussions! I'd have to wax the floors _every_ Monday instead of every Thursday. And that would leave me less time to steam clean the upstairs carpeting, which is set aside for Mondays."

Eddy was unimpressed. "So? Clean the carpet on Thursday."

"But I just cleaned it _today_! I can only clean it once a week, Eddy. Do you know how much water I'd be wasting if I steam cleaned the carpet twice a week?"

Eddy slapped his forehead. "It's once, Double D! Get a grip! It ain't like the entire Atlantic Ocean's gonna run dry if you clean your carpet twice in one week!"

Edd scowled. "I still refuse to have that many people sliding around my house at once, Eddy. There would be too many safety hazards. You know that."

"Relax, it's a _contest_. They'll be going one at a time!"

"Can I be a pretty ballerina?" Ed butted in. "I do good pearly whites!"

"Pirouettes, Ed."

"No, thanks, Double D. I just ate."

"Come on, boys!" Eddy exclaimed, grabbing both of his friends by the arm and sliding them out of the kitchen. "We got a floor skating rink to prepare!" 


	4. Preparations

SKIPPABLE CHAPTER NOTES: I don't know why I had so many problems with these chapters - I can't help but feel they went a little slow-paced. I hope that's not the case. ^^; And you will see the rest of the gang in the next chapter... promise. *idly ponders how many chapters it will end up taking to finish the story...*

And thanks so much for the reviews thus far -- I'm glad to hear that people are enjoying the story. =)

~Kit

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"Why do I get myself into these predicaments...?" Edd asked himself wearily as he finished waxing his floor. Exhausted, he wiped sweat from his forehead. He'd had enough of waxing floors to last himself a lifetime, and his decision to repeat the task on Thursday in order to avoid conflict with his steam cleaning schedule was enough to make him seriously consider an attempt at a new invention: self-cleaning floor surfaces.

Luckily, Ed had been there to help move the furniture as he had usually done on floor waxing days... Edd might have just collapsed and wished for a quick death otherwise. Now, if only Eddy would have been so kind.

"I'm finished, Eddy!" he called to his friend, trudging off to put the cleaning supplies away and get himself a much needed drink of water. A bath would have been much more gratifying, but he knew Eddy's impatience would prevent any possibility of that happening.

"Woohoo!" Eddy exclaimed, racing in from lounging outside in the sun. "It's about time, Sockhead!"

Eddy slid around in the unfurnished living room as Edd disappeared into the kitchen with a frown. Eddy could be so gallingly unappreciative at times... He poured himself a glass of water, guzzling it and taking a moment to ponder exactly how much damage his house was going to inevitably suffer... and just how he was going to explain it to his parents.

Eddy continued to skate around as his friend stood in the entrance to the kitchen. "This is sweet, Double D! Why didn't I think of this sooner?"

Edd's response didn't get the chance to leave his mouth. He blinked as Ed suddenly grabbed Eddy from behind and with a jolly "Upsy-daisy!" threw him in the air. Eddy let out a startled yelp as he went flying for what must've been the eighth time that morning. Beneath him, Ed twirled around rapidly on one foot. He stopped and caught Eddy by his hands, holding him upside-down in the air. He ended his show by posing on one knee, still balancing Eddy just above his head.

Eddy's aggravation quickly gave way to astonishment. "Wow, Lumpy, you ain't half bad..." he said, looking down in awe at his normally clumsy friend.

Ed grinned proudly. "Nope! I'm all bad and a bag of leeks."

Edd was no less impressed with Ed's sudden display of agility. "Bravo, Ed! You have a natural talent there!" he praised, applauding.

"Where?" Ed turned around to see. Not seeing anything, he simply looked back at Edd vacantly. Maybe he would show it to him later.

"I must say that I'm truly impressed to see such agility from you, Ed," Edd added as he carefully entered the room.

Ed smiled broadly. He wasn't exactly sure what this 'agility' and 'talent' stuff was, but he was pleased that his friends were happy with his performance... it gave him a warm, fuzzy kind of feeling. Kind of like he was swimming in a pool of dryer lint. Ah, that would be the life... he would have to try that sometime. 

Meanwhile, Eddy had all but completely lost his wonderment. "Yeah yeah, we'll get him a tutu later," he said, beginning to lose his balance.

"A blue one!? With sequins!?" Ed asked excitedly. 

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever!" Eddy struggled to keep his balance. "All right, Burrhead... as much as I've always wanted to be up close and personal with your flaky hair, can you let go of me now?" The blood was rushing to his head, causing him to wobble and almost fall despite Ed's firm grasp.

"Eddy, Roger!" Ed flipped his shorter friend in front of him and placed him on his feet, which only caused the disorientated Eddy to slip and fall. Grumbling, he stood up carefully. He'd had about enough of both flying through the air and falling on his backside for the day.

"Perhaps you'll allow us to view an encore of your performance after the contest?" Edd asked Ed as he made his way to the front door and opened it. "I'm sure the others will be most impressed as well."

Ed scratched his head at his friend's question. "But, I don't have an anchor, Double D." Sometimes Ed just couldn't understand his friend's odd requests. Not to mention the weird way he pronounced things. Nevertheless, he'd hate to let his bud down. What if he needed it for some important... science, um... thingamajigger? "I know! I will find one for you!" Ed grinned proudly at his gesture of goodwill.

"Um... yes, well... thank you, Ed..." Edd answered politely as he peered out the door to check on the sign they had set outside to dry earlier. "But I wasn't-"

"Anchor for Double D! Would you like fries with that?"

"Uh, no, Ed, I-"

"One anchor, hold the fries!" Ed announced as he ran - or more precisely, slid - out of the house awkwardly, seemingly having lost any of the grace he had possessed only moments before.

Eddy pushed Edd out of the doorway and poked his head outside. "Ed, you lump! Get back here! We're not done yet!" But Ed was already turning the corner of the cul-de-sac, too intent on his anchor hunt to heed Eddy's frustrated calls.

Edd simply shook his head and let him go. Sometimes he felt that there wasn't any use trying to correct Ed's misinterpretations. He'd just let it go this time... even _if_ he was running around outside without shoes. So careless...

"Great," Eddy growled as he turned back to Edd. He poked his friend in the chest. "You just had to get him started. Who knows when he'll get back!" Edd watched Eddy head for his kitchen. "I'm getting a drink. All this hard work's made me thirsty."

Edd sighed. He'd never change, so what was the point of getting angry? It wouldn't get him anywhere. Besides, it wasn't as if Eddy ever actually _noticed_ when he got angry... and when he _did_ notice, it only encouraged his inconsiderate behavior.

Edd shook his head, bringing his thoughts back to more immediate concerns - more precisely his sure to be ill-fated home. If his mother and father ever found out about this, he'd surely be swimming in sticky notes for the remainder of the summer. But he knew it was too late to call off the scam - there was no way Eddy would listen to him now that the floor was prepared and they had finished that monstrosity that Ed and Eddy called a "sign." Especially if he wouldn't listen to him prior.

Edd turned his attention back to the crudely painted plywood sign sitting outside. The thing was gigantic... it would no doubt cover at least 3/4 of his garage door, making it an absolute pain in the posterior to hang up even with Ed's assistance. But Eddy had insisted that "big scams need big advertising," so Ed had been forced to dig up the biggest piece of wood he could find. They'd just have to wait until he came back to mess with it. Edd just hoped that Eddy would actually lend a hand this time - hey, he could dream.

To make matters worse, not only was the dreadful thing huge... it was also, in Edd's opinion, a complete eyesore. In big, red letters, the words, "Grand Nationul Floor Skateing Champiunship! Only 50 cents per contestent!" were haphazardly painted on the board in no more a professional manner than a four-year-old may have been able to muster. Edd still recoiled upon seeing it. Not only was Ed's spelling as atrocious as ever, but added onto that was the fact that Eddy had been positively adamant against referring to his scam as a local event - completely disregarding Edd's dispute that a contest reserved for the children of a solitary cul-de-sac could hardly be called "national."

Eddy's argument? "Rolf's from another country... so we could technically call it _global_!"

Edd had given up at that point, only thankful that Ed had already painted half of "Nationul" on already, thereby preventing Eddy from making that change. 

He sighed inwardly, frustrated with himself. He shouldn't have been this annoyed with Eddy, but he was. Maybe it was his headache, or maybe it was the stress the current situation put on him... or maybe it was a combination of both. But, whatever it was, it made him feel like he was just being a spoilsport. After all, he knew Eddy. He was well aware that he had just wanted it to sound more important than it really was in order to attract more attention. And he certainly couldn't say that he was surprised; Eddy always had a proclivity for trying to make things seem more impressive than they really were - particularly himself. He was _the_ paradigm of the Napoleon Complex... Edd would have been fascinated by the phenomenon had it not annoyed him so greatly.

He supposed he should've actually felt sorry for Eddy for thinking in such a manner, but it normally ended up just irritating him beyond compare instead... today proving to be no exception. It was probably for the best, though; Eddy surely wouldn't enjoy being pitied - or studied - by him, anyway.

Meanwhile, Eddy, who had been watching Edd look over the sign, grimaced slightly as he got lost in his own thoughts as well. He couldn't help but take notice of Edd's distasteful expression as he continued the - in his opinion - needlessly thorough inspection. _Jeez, I'm surprised he hasn't brought out the magnifying glass yet._ He watched as Edd's brow creased as he continued to get lost in his thoughts, the expression bringing to Eddy's mind another uninvited vision of the dream-Edd. He shook his head, forcing himself to clear the image from his mind. He didn't have time to worry about that now... he'd soon have suckers to cheat, and how could he do that if he couldn't concentrate? _If only Sockhead's sugar high hadn't of worn off so soon..._ Annoying or not, it was better than the reminders of that stupid dream Edd's sour mood kept bringing about.

Eddy cleared his throat. "So now what?" he asked in an attempt to get the unsavory look off of his friend's face.

"Well, the skating area is set up," Edd explained, coming out of his thoughts. "And, as atrocious as it is, the sign will suffice. But we'll have to wait until Ed returns before we can hang it up. In addition, I'm afraid we still don't have any prizes to hand out."

Eddy looked up at his friend as if he'd just spoken in some alien language. "Prizes?"

"Yes, Eddy. Prizes. You know, the objects rewarded to participants who place well in competitive events?"

"I know what they are!" Eddy snapped. "I just don't have any."

It was Edd's turn to look as though he'd heard an alien language. "What?? You can't hold a contest without prizes... no one will want to compete."

"I told ya, I don't have anything to give, Sockhead! You're the brains of the group, and it's your house. _You_ think of something."

Edd scowled, his eyes darkening for a moment. For the brief second of silence present before he heard a response, Eddy actually wondered if he may have said something wrong. Wrong or not, he suddenly wished he'd have kept his big mouth shut as that persistent image flashed through his mind again. _Stupid dream._

"Oh, I'll find some prizes, all right," Edd answered. Being bossed around by Eddy was nothing new... but added to his unrelenting headache and the idea of this disaster-in-the-making taking place in his own home completely against his wishes, Eddy's attitude was beginning to push him to his limit. Perhaps a little retribution was in order...

Edd sat in the front doorway for a moment, donning his shoes, and then proceeded to head across the street. Eddy blinked and poked his head out the front door.

"Where ya goin'?" he asked, confused. He let out a worried gasp as he saw his friend headed straight toward his house. "Hey, get back here!" he commanded, giving chase. He caught up and grabbed Edd by the wrist, yanking him back to face him. "Just what do you think _you're_ doin'??" he demanded, already having an idea as to the answer.

"Well, Eddy," Edd replied curtly as he wrenched his wrist free from Eddy's grasp and continued to walk through Eddy's backyard, "seeing as though I'm grudgingly volunteering my entire home for this ill-fated, crudely planned pretense of yours... it should be fitting that _you_ provide the awards to be given out to the winning contestants. It's only fair."

"We're not using your _entire_ house, just the first floor!" Eddy countered.

"Argument invalid, Eddy." Edd opened Eddy's door and continued on into his room. "Now, let's see here..."

"Hey, you get outta my room!" Eddy ordered, running in. His eyes widened and he yelled in protest as Edd dug some of his magazines out from under the bed.

"Tasteless, yes, but a suitable prize for Kevin..."

_What!? I knew it!_ Eddy clenched his fists. Sockhead really _had_ been in cahoots with Kevin to steal his magazines all along! The jerk must have bribed him with a load of jawbreakers or something... the little traitor!

"Put those back!" Eddy demanded as he lept straight for Edd like a tiger pouncing on his prey. "Monkey-boy ain't gettin' my magazines!"

Edd gasped slightly, startled. He hadn't expected quite so violent a reaction. He quickly jumped up onto the bed, barely managing to dodge the attack and sending Eddy to the floor. He then looked up to spot the disco ball hanging above the bed.

"Oh, this would make a good reward for Jonny should he win!" he said with a smile, jumping off the bed and grabbing a chair. He placed the chair on the bed and stood on it, taking down the ball. "He told me once that he found it to be quite an interesting adornment. I'm sure he'd enjoy one of his own," he explained cheerfully as Eddy growled and stood up. Edd's grin widened. Oh yes, this was indeed improving his mood.

"Get your hands off of it! It's mine!" Eddy made another leap, but Edd jumped off of the chair and onto the ground, causing Eddy to crash into the chair. "Why, you... when I get my hands on you...!"

Edd was having too much fun to worry about Eddy's threat, however. He looked around for more "prizes." Records? No, only Eddy would ever listen to those things. And his posters, too, only featured musicians Eddy would listen to... no one would want those, either. Then, what else...?

_Ah-ha. _Edd's eyes fell on his final target. "Why, look," he said, making his way to the endtable and picking up Eddy's beloved lava lamp. "I'm almost positive that Sarah would _love_ this!"

"THAT'S IT!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY STUFF! NOW!!" Eddy roared, his face red with fury. He grabbed the lamp, disco ball and magazines from his startled friend's hands. "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!"

Eddy scrambled onto the chair atop his bed to re-hang his disco ball, still not quite achieving the height he needed despite standing on his toes. _He thinks he's so funny sometimes... a real riot and a half,_ Eddy thought angrily, trying to keep his balance. His tongue peeped out from his lips slightly and his brow furrowed as he focused on standing higher to reach the ball's attachment on the ceiling.

Edd merely grinned smugly, crossing his arms. "Well, Eddy. It seems the shoe is on the other foot now, wouldn't you say?"

Eddy froze. The ball fell from his petrified hands, hitting him on the head and rolling to a stop near the edge of his bed. Eddy, still dazed from his friend's complacent words, didn't even seem to notice.

His eyes closed, Edd didn't see Eddy's reaction. "Now, perhaps you've realized how it feels to have someone else volunteer your possessions for use without first asking your consent. It doesn't seem so trivial now, does it, Eddy?" Edd opened his eyes to find his friend still frozen solid, a stunned look etched on his face.

"Eddy?"

"Huh?" Hearing his name, Eddy snapped out of his stupor and looked down at Edd, who now bore a concerned - and slightly confused - expression.

"Eddy, are you all right?" Edd asked, feeling a slight twinge of guilt. He had merely intended to teach Eddy a bit of a lesson... not to send him into a complete state of shock. "I didn't mean to..."

_Casual, just act casual._

"Don't worry about it, Sockhead," Eddy said, his voice a little edgier than he had meant it to be. He cleared his throat to get his voice more under control as he searched his mind for an excuse. "I'm fine. The ball just kinda slipped... a-and hit me on the head. I was a little dazed, that's all." He grinned as convincingly as he could and stepped off the bed. He'd deal with hanging the ball back up later. For now, he really needed another distraction before he got all creeped out again... that dream was messing with him today a lot more than he had thought it would.

Edd opened his mouth, but before he could say anything in response, Ed stumbled into the room.

"I found you, you slippery little rascals!" he exclaimed, lugging an anchor in his arms. "Special delivery!" He looked around. "Uh, why are we in Eddy's room?"

"We're looking for prizes," Eddy answered, never so happy to have a change of conversation.

Ed grinned and hopped from one foot to the other in excitement. "Ooh, prizes! What did we win!?"

"Not for us, Ed," Edd explained. "Prizes for the participants in the floor skating contest."

"Oh!" He paused. "Who won?"

"We haven't _had_ it yet, Lumpy," Eddy responded, putting his lamp and magazines back. "We need your help to get the sign up. So let's get... back..." Eddy trailed off as he came to a realization. "Ed?"

"Eddy?"

"Just... _where_ did you get that anchor from?"

Edd blinked and took another look at the anchor, only to pale in the face. "Ed... you didn't by any chance...?"

Ed beamed proudly. "May said I could borrow it if we would be their honeybunches for a whole day." He went on as Eddy slapped his forehead and Edd began trembling in a state of panic. "I didn't know what a honeybunch was... but it sounded yummy."

"So... y-you agreed...?" Edd was afraid to hear the answer, despite already knowing what it was.

"You betcha, Double D! All for you!" he said happily, dropping the anchor in Edd's arms, sending the weaker boy to the ground. "No thanks are necessary... just doing my job."

Eddy looked around the room frantically as if the Kankers could pop out at any moment. "Yeah, being a brainless lump is a full-time position," he growled.

Ed chuckled. "You have no idea, Eddy!" he responded as he watched Eddy shut his door and move his bed along with everything else he could get his hands on in front of it.

"Eddy," Edd said, standing. "You didn't even lock the door! They'll just be able to push their way through that mess once they open-" Before Edd could finish, Eddy raced out of his room.

"Tag, you're it, Double D!" Ed announced with a playful shove, knocking Edd back to the ground. He then picked up the anchor for Edd and ran to catch up with Eddy.

Edd sighed and stood, giving an uneasy glance towards the barricaded door. He then gulped and dashed out after Ed. "Don't you leave me in here!" he cried, not wanting to be stuck in there alone should the Kankers find him.

Eddy peered out of the front window of his house cautiously, having already locked and barricaded the front door. Ed and Edd came up and peered out with him as Eddy revealed a mischievous grin.

"I don't see Kankers, but I _do_ see pigeons! A whole flock of 'em!" It seemed that the sign still propped up outside of Edd's house had finally attracted the curiousity of the rest of the cul-de-sac kids. Edd's attention was drawn to another matter however.

"Eddy! You left my front door wide open!?" he asked incredulously, the thought of the number of germ-spreading insects that must have invaded his home in the past five minutes nearly causing him to go into meltdown.

Eddy, used to Edd's neurotic outbursts, ignored him. "It's time to get the show on the road, boys," he said, tossing the furniture away from the door so they could get out.

"D-don't you think that's a bit dangerous?" Edd asked nervously. "What about the Kankers? Haven't you learned from past experience that they'll inevitably show up at the last minute and ruin everything we've worked so diligently on?? Do you _really_ want us to end up being their..." Edd swallowed a lump in his throat and shuddered, "... 'honeybunches...?'"

"Honey bunches of oats!" Ed exclaimed happily, then blinked. "Oats?" He gasped, a realization hitting him. "Oh no! They're going to turn us into oatmeal!" He grabbed Eddy and began to sob on his shoulder. "I don't want to be part of a nutritious breakfast, Eddy!"

"Would you two get over it?" Eddy snapped, wrenching his nearly soaked shirt from Ed. He finished clearing the blockade and opened the door, looking at his nervous friends. "And, by the way, the keyword there is 'last minute,' Double D. We'll just be ready for them when they come! If we don't get out there _now_, everyone's just gonna get bored stiff and leave! And there goes our money!" Failing to see a shred of compliance from Edd, he shrugged. No problem... he knew exactly what made Mr. Obsessive-Compulsive tick.

"That or... they might just go on in and floor skate around your house all at once. Without supervision," he added nonchalantly, looking at his fingernails. "I'd hate to see what kind of mess _that_ could cause..." He grinned as he glanced up to see Edd's eyes widen in horror. _Bingo._

"Oh dear... th-that can't happen..." Edd gulped, imagining the damages such an incident could inflict on his house. He didn't even want to consider of the number of chores such damages would earn him. And with the door open, they could very well take it as an invitation...

Eddy headed out. "So get off your lazy butt and come on!"

Ed looked around nervously for fear of being turned into a lump of gooey oatmeal before running after Eddy.

"Ollie ollie oxenfree!" he cried out as he ran, panicked, down the street. Well... if they _did_ catch him and turn him into oatmeal, he hoped he'd at least get to choose the flavor. Maybe blueberry... 

Edd let out a sigh in resignation. "Very well..." He followed his two friends cautiously out the door, shutting it. "I only hope that my home can withstand the consequences of your actions far better than I, Eddy," he muttered as he jogged across the street to catch up.


	5. Come one, come all!

"Come one, come all! To the biggest, bestest, and most elite competition this side of the cul-de-sac!" Eddy announced, still running to join the kids already gathered in Edd's driveway. Upon arriving, he jumped in front of the crowd, not even stopping to catch his breath. "Welcome to... Ed's Grand National Floor Skating Championship! Only fifty cents per entry!"

He looked to Ed and Edd as they finally caught up and stood beside him. "Took ya long enough," he muttered, earning himself a small scowl from Edd while Ed continued to glance around fearfully, on the lookout for the new and improved oatmeal-powered Kanker sisters.

"Floor Skating Championship?" Kevin actually sounded interested for once. "That... doesn't sound half bad," he admitted.

"Floor skating's such a dangerous sport..." Jimmy said quietly, huddling close to Sarah.

"Jimmy, with you, everything's dangerous," Kevin retorted. After receiving a nasty glare from Sarah, he shrugged. "What? It's the truth." 

"Floor skating rules!" Nazz exclaimed, excited. "Eddy, this is such a rad idea! Count me in!"

Eddy bit his lip in rapture as all of the kids - minus Jimmy and Sarah, but like he cared - talked among themselves excitedly. He _definitely_ should've thought of this before. He nudged Edd with his elbow. "Don't mean to say I told ya so... but I told ya so!" he whispered.

Edd rolled his eyes but said nothing. He knew the inevitable would come eventually - it was merely a question of when and how.

Sarah looked around at the excited kids. She had to admit, it was tempting to let Eddy get away with this one; she even wanted a try at it. But after seeing the sickeningly joyous look on that idiot's face... no. She was not about to let him take everyone's money _that_ easily.

"Hold it!" she screamed, crossing her arms as all of the kids prepared to fork over their coinage. She felt a wave of satisfaction as they stopped and turned to face her, causing Eddy to shoot her a death glare. "If this is a contest, then what's the prize?"

As the rest of the kids turned back to Eddy, he felt his face scrunch up in irritation. _Always Sarah._

Rolf nodded in agreement. "Yes. The loud one speaks the truth. There is no contest without something to be won, yes?"

"What do we get if we win, Eddy??" Jonny asked, excitement still evident in his eyes.

Edd nudged Eddy as the rest of the kids looked back at them expectantly. "'Don't mean to say I told ya so... but I told ya so,'" he quoted in a whisper.

Eddy didn't pay any mind to Edd's words. He looked on nervously as the crowd loudly demanded to know the prize. This couldn't happen... the scam was too good to have it fail now! He looked around frantically, trying to come up with some sort of prize. His eyes fell on Ed, and he was struck with an idea.

"Um, not to worry!" he announced, causing the kids to quiet down. "There will be a prize!"

"There will?" Edd asked with a raised eyebrow. He looked around to see if he could figure out what Eddy was going to attempt to offer. Unsuccessful, he merely folded his arms and prepared to watch the show. This should prove interesting.

"What is it?" Jimmy asked.

"A fine question, my fluffy-haired friend! Not only does the lucky winner get the honorable title of Grand National Floor Skating Champion, but they also receive... _this_ lovely prize!"

With that, accompanied by a grandiose gesture, Eddy grabbed the anchor from Ed and held it up dramatically - if only momentarily.

_Jeez, this thing's heavy!_ Eddy stumbled for a moment, overcome with the weight. "Take it back, Ed, take it back!" he cried, about to collapse.

"The _anchor_, Eddy?" Edd asked incredulously.

Ed took the anchor back from Eddy, who stopped to catch his breath. "But this is Double D's an-" Ed's protest was cut short by Eddy's elbow in his gut.

"Who'd wanna compete for some stupid anchor?" Kevin asked. "That is so lame."

"This is stupid, Jimmy. Let's go home," Sarah said, taking Jimmy's hand and leaving as the others began to depart as well.

Eddy began to panic as his perfect scam started to fall apart before his very eyes. That stupid Sarah... always ruining his plans. And then there was Double D - he was probably getting a kick out of it all. Just cause they needed to use _his_ house for the rink. _I bet he knew this was gonna happen..._ He glanced at Edd, who was looking at Ed and shrugging. _Playing innocent now, is he? _Well, no way. He wasn't gonna give up that easily. He'd show that so-called brainiac what a great scam this really was... and then he'd be begging for the opportunity to apologize to Eddy the Great.

"Hey, wait!" he exclaimed, getting everyone's attention again. "Uh..." He looked away, trying to think of a way to make the anchor more appealing. "This anchor... is... not just _any_ anchor, folks!" he explained, looking back at the crowd that had stopped to listen. Good, at least they were hearing him out; they rarely gave him that pleasure with his other scams. "That's right, my friends! This _very special_ anchor is from none other than the legendary S.S. ... uh... the S.S. ..." He glanced around the cul-de-sac, his eyes stopping on one of Rolf's pigs eating in his backyard. His eyes lit up. "Wilfred!"

Edd slapped his forehead with a groan. Things were going from unfavorable to just plain embarrassing.

"The S.S. Wilfred?" Kevin asked skeptically.

Ed was confused. "But Wilfred's a- oof!" He was silenced by another elbow to the stomach.

"You heard right!" Eddy continued, feeling his confidence returning. "A relic from one of the _best_ ships to ever sail the seven seas! And it can be _yours_ if you win the contest!"

Rolf wiped a tear from his eye. "Rolf is humbly honored knowing that such a vessel has been named in the honor of his livestock. Very well, Ed-boy!" Rolf handed over two quarters. "Rolf will win this contest and claim the anchor for his own!" he declared.

Eddy smiled lovingly as he gazed upon his true loves sitting in the palms of his hands. Oh, the jawbreakers he'd buy after this!

"Just sign right up with Double D over there," he instructed. He motioned to Edd, who was standing in the front doorway with his notepad ready.

"And, everyone, please take your shoes off before entering the facility!" Edd announced after jotting down Rolf's name. "The floor is freshly waxed, and I will permit absolutely no scuffing, scraping or scratching! Ed here will be more than happy to hold on to your shoes until the conclusion of the event!" Edd motioned to Ed, who was taking Rolf's shoes off for him.

"Unhand Rolf, slop-for-brains Ed-boy!" Rolf demanded as Ed wrenched the shoes from his feet and unceremoniously tossed Rolf behind him and onto the slippery floor. Rolf stood, taking care not to slip, and rubbed his head. "May your scalp be infested with a thousand and one angry ticks, Ed-boy!"

Ed laughed. "Already has, Rolf!" he exclaimed proudly, causing a disturbed Edd to slowly inch further away from him, fearing for his own hygiene.

"I don't really care much for the anchor, but..." Nazz walked up and handed Eddy two more quarters. She loved competitions, and this sounded like it actually might be worth the money. "Wish me luck," she said with a smile as she went to sign up with Edd.

Eddy practically melted to a puddle of goo as he watched Nazz hand her shoes to Ed and walk into the house. _Oh man! Did I see the way she smiled at me!?_ he thought to himself, ecstatic. He turned to give Edd a smug grin just to rub it in. It seemed to have worked... Eddy received a frown in return before Edd pointedly turned his head away.

"Here ya go, Eddy." Eddy snapped his head back as Jonny placed his fee in his hand.

"Each," he stated simply, noticing only two quarters had been added to his profits. But his words only earned him a shake of Jonny's head.

"Nope. Plank's gonna sit this one out." He headed toward the front door. "Floor skating's not his stong suit, if ya know what I mean."

Edd let out a small sigh of relief as he wrote down Jonny's name. He could only imagine the scores of scratch marks Plank would have left on his floors had he participated... that was one source of disrepair he could rule out, at least.

Kevin was next in line. "Here you go, Dorky." He dropped two quarters into Eddy's waiting hands and walked over to Edd.

"Big fan of anchors, Kev?" Eddy asked with a grin, pocketing the money. "Who knew?"

"Oh, yeah," Kevin answered over his shoulder as he headed inside. "They're _great_ for pummeling dorks with."

Eddy grimaced and waited until Kevin was inside before running over to his friends. "Guys, Kevin doesn't win. Got it?" he whispered.

Ed responded with a salute as Edd jotted it down as a side note.

"Loss on a technicality, Eddy. Got it," Edd replied.

Eddy blinked at Edd, somewhat shocked that he hadn't responded with some sort of argument about not being fair or something.

"Yes, Eddy, I'm permitting this," Edd said in response to Eddy's unspoken thoughts. "I suppose that a breach in competitive ethics could be permissable in this one instance. After all, there's no use in taking unneeded chances where Kevin and a large anchor are concerned..."

Eddy grinned in satisfaction and returned to the remaining suckers - Sarah and Jimmy. "What's the matter, Sarah?" he asked, noting Sarah's seemingly ever-present scowl. "Mad because I'm actually doing actually something cool? Or is it because you know you're not good enough to win?" Eddy asked, unable to keep a smirk from forming on his face. 

"Eddy!" Ed pleaded, glancing nervously at his angry little sister. But before he could say anything more, Sarah plopped two quarters in Eddy's hands.

"JUST YOU WATCH, LUNKHEAD!" Sarah yelled in his ear before composing herself and walking over to Edd to sign up. "You're just lucky I like to floor skate."

Jimmy gave a nervous glance at Eddy, who had recovered remarkably quickly from having his ear drums nearly destroyed and seemed to be expecting pay from him as well. "Wait for me, Sarah!" he cried out as he ran after her.

"Cheapskate," Eddy muttered. But it was all fine and good. He had pocketed a whole two and a half dollars in all of two minutes, and the plan was going off without a hitch. _I'm such a genius! A filthy rich genius!_ He took the rest of the coins out of his pocket and smiled lovingly at the money piled in his palms. "My babies... my love, my life..." he breathed, his eyes shining. Ah, nothing soothed Eddy like the afternoon summer sun glistening on a pile of quarters. He closed his hands over the money and held them to his cheek. "Oh, how do I love thee? Let me count the jawbreakers..."

Seeing that Eddy was lost in his own little world, Edd turned to Ed with a sigh. "Well, I suppose we should get this over with..." He really wasn't looking forward to having to clean up the mess after this; it was a burden he knew that he'd end up carrying alone. Maybe Ed would offer to lend a hand... but that could very well prove more catastrophic than helpful.

Ed frowned as he watched his friend go inside. Edd seemed troubled today, and Ed didn't like his friends being troubled. _He must be sad about losing the anchor... the poor little feller_, he thought to himself sadly. If only he could find a way to make him feel better. Maybe he'd invite him over whenever he'd collected enough dryer lint to go swimming. Yeah, that might cheer him up.

"Come on, Lumpy!" Eddy said, running inside the house. "We got a contest to judge!" Impatient, he yanked Ed inside and shut the door. He wanted to get this over and done with so he could high-tail it to the candy store. If they hurried, they could get there before it closed.


	6. Edd, on your mark!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up! Along with having to re-write it from scratch after nearly completing it and some other, more personal reasons, it took a lot longer than I had wanted. (I guess because of that, I'm not too happy with this chapter.) Thanks for the patience and the reviews! ;) The next chapter is already underway, so it shouldn't take as long to get up. *crosses fingers*

~Kit

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While the participants warmed up in the living room in preparation for the competition, Ed and Eddy were gathered at Edd's kitchen table for the "emergency pre-competition meeting" that Eddy had called. He had overlooked a rather large detail when offering the anchor as a prize - the Kankers. He sure as heck didn't wanna be the one to tell them that their anchor was hanging in someone else's home whenever they decided to show up. So now he had to go over a few last minute changes in the plan with Edd. Or, atleast, whenever he decided to grace them with his presence, anyway.

While Eddy was fidgeting in his seat on the tabletop and huffing the occasional irritated sigh, Ed was seated in a chair, rummaging through his jacket pockets in search of spare dryer lint. After pulling out moldy cheese, a questionable fuzzy green substance and other random horrors, the tall boy frowned in frustration and, after taking a quick bite of the cheese, stuffed his possessions back into his pockets.

"Man... we don't have all day," Eddy grumbled as he rapped his fingers on the table impatiently. "What's taking Double D, anyway?"

"Double D's being taken!?" Ed lept from his seat with a gasp. "Oh no! It must be the one-eyed oyster barbarians from Madagascar!" He raised his arm in the air dramatically. "Never fear! I will save you, brave comrade!" he proclaimed as he began to run towards Edd's screen door. He had forgotten the slippery floor in his excitement, however, and didn't make it very far before falling to the floor with a 'thud' and a chuckle. "I fell down go boom, Eddy."

"Oh, _you'll_ go _boom_ if you don't stop-"

"Sorry I'm late, guys." Edd interrupted, entering the kitchen. Upon seeing his friends, he stopped and placed his hands on his hips with a disapproving frown. "Eddy... could you please not sit on the table?"

"Yeah, yeah." Eddy hopped off of the table. He blinked when he noticed Jimmy following closely behind Edd. "What's with Curly-Q?"

"Double D!" Ed exclaimed from the floor, trying to get up. "How'd you escape from the oyster men!?" Edd looked on in bafflement as Ed, using the table, pulled himself up long enough to issue an enthusiastic "Hiya, Jimmy!" before attempting to wave at the boy and promptly falling back to the floor on his face. "Mmm, pine fresh."

Jimmy replied only with a look of disgust, feeling his face turn green as Ed made a show of tasting Edd's kitchen floor. It would only be a matter of time before his tuna salad and apricot lunch would make an unsavory return appearance...

"Ed, please stop licking my floor..." Edd requested, barely containing his own disgust as he made a mental note to re-sanitize that portion of his kitchen after the contest. "I'll get you a non-toxic pine scented- er, flavored car freshener later," Edd compromised, seeing Ed's pout. He smiled with relief as the satisfied Ed complied and busied himself with trying to stand again.

He then turned his attention back to Eddy who was visibly growing impatient. "I felt that Jimmy would make a fine addition to the judging team."

Eddy raised an eyebrow at this. "Why?"

Jimmy held his head up haughtily. "Because I know more about the fine arts than you three brutes could learn in a lifetime."

"Ask me if I care, da Vinci," Eddy grumbled.

"As arrogant as Jimmy's words may be, they do hold a modicum of truth. Jimmy's knowledge of ballet and other fine performance arts gives him the expertise necessary for a well-rounded judging team." Leaving the grinning, ego-boosted Jimmy at the entrance to the kitchen, Edd approached Eddy and whispered in his ear. "And the kids will be far less likely to accuse us of rigging the event in Nazz's favor if someone other than you, Ed and I were to judge as well."

Eddy grinned. "That's nice, Double D. But that _finally_ brings me to the topic of our little meeting here. There's been a change... _you're_ not gonna be judging." Seeing Edd only looking at him questioningly, he glanced around cautiously before lowering his voice even further. "You're gonna be _winning_."

"What!?"

"Shhh! Quiet, will ya??" He glanced at Jimmy nervously. The boy was still in the kitchen entranceway, but his back was turned to the Eds as he conversed with Sarah. Eddy sighed in relief as the two left to talk in the living room, giving the three a bit of privacy. He turned back to Edd. "I've set it up so it'll be a cinch for you to win!"

"Eddy, I refuse partake in the illicit appropriation of victory from other _honest_ competitors," Edd argued.

"What? You make it sound like I'm doing something bad here!"

"Oh, heavens... why should I _ever_ think something as ludicrous as _that_? Thank you for bringing me back down to Earth."

Eddy narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "That was sarcasm, wasn't it?"

"Your perception is improving, Eddy."

Eddy grimaced, but calmed himself and gave his friend an indifferent shrug. "Fine then - _you_ can explain to the Kankers why Ed doesn't have their anchor anymore when someone _else_ wins it. I'm sure they'll think of a good way for you to make up for it."

"_You_ were the one to offer it as a prize!"

"Details, details! Just get out there and start practicin'... we're gonna start soon."

"But, Eddy, I'm no good at trick floor skating!"

"I've got ya covered." Eddy grinned as he slapped Edd on the back, nearly causing him to fall. "I told ya - I changed things. It ain't gonna be all about fancy tricks and stuff... it's gonna be all about speed. You know, a race."

"A race!? In _my house_!?" Edd gawked at Eddy for a moment before continuing his protest. "Eddy! You said it was only going to be one person at a time! _One person!_ That's what you said!"

"Well, that was _before_ I realized I'd have to put you out there and make it a race instead so we can win."

"Then _you_ go out there and keep it trick!"

"Are you kidding? I can't trick skate! Race!"

"Trick!"

"Race!"

"Ooh! Can I skate, Eddy?" Ed, who had been struggling with the stubborn force of gravity for the majority of his friends' conversation, finally managed to stand again on Edd's slippery kitchen floor. He clumsily made his way to his friends. "I wanna skate! Double D _always_ gets to do the fun stuff!"

"Yes, Eddy. I'd hate to deprive Ed of such... fun. Why not simply let Ed participate in my place? We've already witnessed quite a display of agility from him earlier... he'd certainly have a chance of winning a trick skating competition."

"What? And take a chance on that being a one-time thing? I mean, look at him - he can barely stand as it is! This is _Ed_ in case you forgot, Double D."

"Nice to meet you," Ed added with a grin.

Seeing Edd's unconvinced frown, Eddy decided that a little demonstration was in order. He turned to Ed. "Ed, spin around," he instructed, twirling his finger around in a circle to illustrate.

"And where he stops only The Claw knows!" he exclaimed, twirling himself into a rapid spin. After several speedy revolutions, Ed fell dizzily to the ground.

"See?" Eddy turned back to Edd. "Besides," Eddy added, "you may be totally pathetic at running, but you're pretty fast on waxy floors. And I already announced the change to everyone else while you were outside talking with Fluffelangelo. "

Edd sighed in defeat. "Very well." Ed looked up, pouting at Edd's words as he continued. "But I hope you realize that, even in a floor skating race, I have no hope of beating Kevin... or Rolf, even. They're both far faster than I."

"How do you know? You've never seen them floor skate before."

Edd motioned out the entranceway of his kitchen in response. Peering out, the three boys saw Rolf and Kevin laughing as they skated around the living room effortlessly. They were kicking Plank back and forth between each other like a soccer ball while a wailing Jonny slid around frantically in a desperate attempt to get him back. Edd was only thankful that Plank was tied to a pillow, thus preventing any damages to his floor... even if the resulting increase of speed made it harder for Jonny to catch the board.

"Ooh! Cool! I wanna play! Do you think they'll need a caddy?" Ed asked.

Ignoring Ed, Eddy turned back to Edd, unfazed. "Eh. That's where a little creativity comes into play, Double D." He tapped his head with a sly grin. "I've got it all worked out."

"And... this is where I'm supposed to feel better?"

"Just listen, will ya? You're good at thinking and all that, so it should be no problem for you to make a few... obstacles or somethin' to trip up the other kids."

"That's cheating!"

"And cheaters never lick the cookie dough," Ed chimed in with a sagely nod.

"What are you guys talkin' about? It's not cheating! At least... not with _my_ rules, it's not." He put an arm around each of his friends' shoulders. "You see, boys... the only rule in _this_ competition is that there _are_ no rules." Eddy saw Edd about to protest and yanked him further down, practically putting the startled boy into a headlock as he continued. "You remember that race of Rolf's we had when we were trying to get that Slovak jawbreaker?"

"The one in which we were all expected to cheat our way to victory?"

"And I got cranberry sauce?" Ed piped up.

"Yeah, that one." Eddy grinned. "That's how _this_ is gonna be. No holds barred, baby!"

"Eddy, I really object-"

"Oh, come on! You were awesome in that race! Second to only me, of course."

"Of course," Edd replied dryly. "But I don't think-"

"You think _too much_ - that's the problem! With that brain of yours, you're naturally a good cheater, Double D! Let go of that moral bunk for a day, and I guarantee you'd be cool in no time. Besides," Eddy smirked, "you liked it and you know it."

Edd was tempted to respond with a comment on how he only enjoyed the opportunity to beat Eddy at his own game and deflate that Mt. Everest size ego of his, but decided that he'd be better off leaving his body in one piece if he had any hope of winning the race.

"So get out there, and knock 'em dead, Champ!" Eddy prodded, pushing Edd towards the living room. "Or knock 'em down, knock 'em silly, knock 'em out... whatever it takes!"

"Break a toe!" Ed cheered as he waved at Edd's retreating figure.

"I'll be so angry with you if this backfires, Eddy..." Edd shot over his back as he entered the living room.

_Ooh, so scary..._ Eddy thought as he watched Edd made his way to the living room. In his book, an angry Double D was about as horrifying as an angry butterfly.

Whatever. As soon as Edd won that anchor, they - "they" being Ed and Double D - could return it to the Kankers while he hit the candy store. He grinned, despite something nagging in the back of his mind... something telling him that this was a bad idea. Dismissing it as a result of the bad sleep he had the night before, Eddy turned to Ed.

"C'mon," he said, exiting the kitchen and motioning Ed to follow. "Let's get the finish line stuff up so we can get this over with."

"At your service with a plunger, Eddy!"

"Shut up, Ed."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"So, so, _so_ stubborn..." Edd muttered as he watched the others skate about his room and tried to think of a harmless way to secure a victory. As much as cheating was against his nature, getting mauled by angry Kanker sisters wasn't on his to-do list for the day, either. Eddy was right; he _had_ to win that anchor back. Somehow... 

"Hiya, Double D..." Edd snapped out of his thoughts to see Nazz standing in front of him, smiling. "I heard you're going to be in the race, too."

Edd looked away nervously as he felt sweat forming on his brow. "Y-yes... it appears so..."

Nazz giggled at Edd's reaction; boys could be so funny sometimes. "Well, good luck, okay?" She smiled sportingly and skated off to talk to Sarah and Jimmy as Edd shook his head rapidly to get over his stupor. 

"Yeah, good luck, Double Dweeb." Edd whirled around to see Kevin and Rolf standing behind him. "You'll need it."

"Yah. Scrawny Ed-boy has as much chance of winning this race as Rolf's pigs have a chance at winning the Turnip Toss."

Edd scowled indignantly as Rolf and Kevin skated off, laughing. Maybe Eddy's ego wasn't the only one that needed to be deflated around here. And this was the perfect opportunity to do just that.

An unusually determined expression crept across his face. "Let's do this."

"Let's get this party started!" Eddy exclaimed, sliding into the living room. He stood in front of the kitchen entranceway which now had a flag on either side of it - or rather, a broom and mop with a towel tied to each - and a sign hanging above the threshold reading "Finish."

"Who brought the dip?" Ed asked as he slid in, barely making it without slipping.

Eddy grabbed a hold of him to keep him up. "_You're_ a dip, Ed." He turned back to the participants who were now all facing him and put on his best announcing voice. "Here's the deal, folks! We're gonna have two races in groups of three! The winner of each race will face off in the third and final round to see who will claim the anchor and the title of Grand National Floor Skating Champion! Are ya with me!?" he asked, trying to drum up excitement.

Jonny let out an enthusiastic "Yeah!" while Nazz and Rolf looked on excitedly. Sarah and Kevin, however, looked about to walk out or pound Eddy... or both.

"Just get on with it!" Sarah yelled.

"One in every crowd," Eddy muttered before noticing Jimmy standing beside him. "Hey. Half-Pint. D'ya mind? You can't watch the race from here. This is the _timers'_ area." Eddy held up a stopwatch with a look of importance. 

Jimmy glared indignantly. "Double D said I was a part of the judging team, too!" Jimmy argued, grabbing the watch from Eddy. "And since there aren't any judges now, _I'll_ time the race!"

Eddy growled and took back the watch. "We don't need three timers, squirt! Now get lost before I-"

"Eddy," Edd interrupted patiently, "you don't _require_ a stopwatch to see who finishes first. Just let Jimmy be a third eye in the event of a close race."

"Fine, fine!" Eddy growled, pocketing the watch. "Let's just start already before I croak from old age."

"You turn into a frog when you get old?" Ed asked curiously. "I wanna grow up, Eddy!"

"Yeah, good luck," Eddy muttered before clearing his throat and putting on his announcing voice again. "Round One! Double D versus Sarah versus Jonny!" He paused as the three contestants made their way to the starting line, Double D taking the middle lane for better access to both Sarah and Jonny.

_I sincerely hope I don't end up hating myself after this..._ Edd thought nervously, still appalled at the idea of having to resort to cheating.

"Root for me, buddy!" Jonny shouted to Plank, who was propped up on against the wall.

"Three laps starting here in the living room! Follow the strips of tape, staying in your lane, through to the dining area, into the kitchen, and back to this room. The first to pass the finish line three times is the winner!" Eddy held up a water pistol. "Racers, on your mark! Get set! GO!"

Edd looked up as Eddy shot a stream of water at his ceiling. "Eddy, you better clean that up! If I get mildew stains-"

"Go, Sockhead! Go!" Eddy yelled frantically.

Edd looked back to see Sarah and Jonny already had a good lead. "Curse my cleanliness," he muttered as he raced to catch up.

"He'd better not mess this up," Eddy said with a nervous grimace as Ed busied himself with attempting to catch the drops of water dripping from the ceiling in his mouth. Knowing better than to place all of his faith on Edd's athletic prowess - or, rather, lack thereof - Eddy figured now was as good a time as any to begin trying to come up with a good escape route... they were probably gonna need it.


	7. Feel the burn! And sting! And bruise!

LONG-LOST DISCLAIMER THINGY: I haven't been forgetting these... Ed just keeps eating them. But I recovered one! *pulls out a soggy paper, reads* 'I don't own EEnE. If I did I wouldn't be toying with their lives by writing fanfics; I'd be toying with their lives by making movies. Don't sue, as Rolf is the son of a shepherd. Thank you.' Huh... *shrugs* Whatever works... *makes a mental note not to write disclaimers so late at night*

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was originally the 2nd half of Ch. 6 (which is why there wasn't much action in that chapter - it was all here! *holds it up* see?), but I felt that I hadn't updated in a while and I didn't know how much longer I'd be working on this part. And since I found a fairly good stopping point (and it was getting rather lengthy), I just kinda hacked it in two. So the race is finally on. ;)

~ Kit

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Edd struggled to breathe evenly and keep a moderate speed after managing to almost catch up with Sarah and Jonny, only straggling behind by a few feet. The three had already passed the finish line once, and Eddy had looked rather annoyed that he hadn't gotten rid of any of the competition yet. But he knew he had to strategize this properly... both Sarah and Jonny had proven faster than he'd thought they'd be, and if he wasted his energy too soon-

"Hey, Jonny! Heads up!"

Edd snapped to attention as Sarah tossed the electric can opener she had picked up upon entering the kitchen at Jonny, hitting him in the head and knocking him to the floor. Sarah giggled as Jonny held his head, groaning. _One down, one to go!_

"Oh dear... Jonny, are you all right!?" Edd asked reflexively, skating up to the boy.

Jonny squinted, trying to determine which of the four Edds approaching was the real one. He smiled a little; at least he could always count on Double D to worry about his friends.

"Yeah, thanks, Double D... I think-"

"Sarah! You leave my kitchen appliances out of this!" Edd scolded as he skated past Jonny, too much in a hurry to really listen to his reply. He seemed okay, and at least now he only had one opponent to worry about.

"Or _what_?" Sarah asked with a smirk as they passed the finish line, ending the second lap. She grabbed Eddy by his hair as she skated past him.

"Sarah!" Eddy cried, trying to get out of her grasp. "Sarah! _Leggo_!"

"If you say so!" Sarah chirped, twirling around in a circle before sending Eddy flying into Edd. "Strike!" she exclaimed, watching the two fall to the floor.

"Nice form, baby sister!" Ed praised, applauding. Jimmy, Kevin and Rolf snickered while Nazz looked on in mild concern.

Edd struggled to sit up from beneath his dazed friend. "Using one of the officials as a projectile is grounds for disqualification!" he declared, pushing Eddy off of him. 

"No rules, Double D!" Sarah stuck her tongue out at Edd and giggled before leisurely continuing her final lap. She saw no need to hurry now; Edd wouldn't have enough energy to pry Eddy off of him _and_ catch up before she made it through his kitchen and to the finish line. The race was in the bag.

Edd scowled. So that's how it was going to be, was it? Seeing Jimmy, Rolf and Kevin's amused expressions, his frown deepened. If they all thought he was going to give up _that_ easily....

"Pardon me, Eddy, but may I borrow you for a moment?"

"Wha...?"

Not bothering to wait for an answer, Edd rolled the disorientated Eddy onto his stomach and stood. Holding on to his friend's ankles, Edd pushed him face forward in front of him while skating as fast as he could to catch up with Sarah, adrenaline making up for lost energy.

"Whoa!" Eddy screamed, the sudden movement jarring him out of his daze. "Lemme go, Sockhead!!"

"What's he _doin_'...?" Kevin asked from the sidelines, confused but visibly amused by Double D quite literally wiping the floor with Eddy.

"Heavens to Betsy!" Jimmy gasped as he realized what Edd was up to. He poked his head into the kitchen just in time to see Sarah entering from the other side, still skating towards the finish line unhurriedly with a smug grin on her face.

"Sarah! Behind you! Eds at two o' clock!"

Blinking at her friend's frantic warning, Sarah looked behind her just in time to see Edd racing up, his energy obviously wearing thin. But he apparently still had every intention of winning the race, as he was coming up pretty fast despite his exhaustion. Eddy, still being pushed in front of Edd, screamed and covered his head defensively as he made contact with Sarah's ankles, causing her to lose her balance and sending all three into a heap on the floor... right on top of Jonny who had finally managed to stand up again before being bowled over by the impact.

"Choice crash!" Kevin cheered as he and the others peered into the kitchen.

Edd, on the top of the pile and attempting to catch his breath, quickly brought himself back to attention at the sound of Kevin's voice. _I can do this - I can win!_ He hurriedly picked himself up from the heap and regained his balance. All he had to do was race to the finish line before Sarah had a chance to recover from the collision, and he was home free!

"DOUBLE D!"

Then again, there was the overlooked fact that Sarah was prone to quick recoveries. Edd looked on nervously as Sarah stood and, after kicking Eddy and Jonny out of the way, glared at him, huffing like an enraged bull.

Jimmy watched from the kitchen threshold in enthusiastic anticipation. "Go get him, girl!"

"Oh dear..." Edd muttered as Sarah charged him. "HAVE MERCY!" he cried out, finding speed he never knew he possessed as he raced out of the kitchen, desperate to avoid Sarah's wrath. "Please, Sarah! Calm yourself! It's just a race!"

The others watched as Edd flew by in a state of sheer panic with an infuriated Sarah on his tail. Just moments after the two passed the finish line, Sarah lept and tackled Edd, sending them both to the ground.

Ed smiled widely at his friend, who was pinned to the ground and about to get pounded, and threw shredded paper towel "confetti" over the two.

"And the winner you are, Double D! Merry Easter and a Happy Cinco de Mayo!"

Sarah's fist made an abrupt stop centimeters from Edd's nose at Ed's declaration. The two stared at each other, uncomprehending. It took a few silent moments for it to click.

"I... I won..." Edd breathed, eyes wide in disbelief. He let out a giddy laugh. "I won!" He'd been so caught up in getting away from Ed's little sister, he hadn't even realized it.

"Let's celebrate this horrendous occasion!"

"I think you mean 'momentous,' Ed," Eddy corrected, entering the living room and straightening out his shirt. He blinked as Ed happily held up the cheese he'd pulled out of his jacket pocket earlier and turned to Eddy, offering it.

"Fruitcake?"

Eddy raised an eyebrow. "Talkin' to yourself again?" He recoiled as Ed held the monstrosity closer to him. "Get that thing away from me, Ed! I think it just growled at me!"

"No, that's Sarah," Ed corrected, pointing to his little sister.

The three boys turned to Sarah who was, indeed, growling menacingly. She, too, had been so caught up in the pursuit that she hadn't realized she had chased her prey right past the finish line. And she was not happy about it.

"I want a rematch! Double D cheated!"

"Technically not, Sarah," Nazz replied, helping her up before she turned her focus back to pounding Edd. "There's no rules, and you can't cheat without rules. Besides, if there _were_ rules, you would have lost by throwing Eddy in the first place." She shrugged sympathetically. "Sorry, Sarah." 

"Yeah!" Eddy agreed. "So take it like a girl! Double D won fair and square! Kinda."

Sarah clenched her fists, having a hard time keeping her temper between losing the race and Jonny sticking his tongue out at her, obviously satisfied that she'd lost despite beaning him with a can opener. It was all she could do to restrain herself from shoving that ice pack he was holding to his head down his throat.

Noting her rising anger, Jimmy rushed over. "There, there, Sarah," Jimmy consoled as he patted her back. "Maybe later we can plant some Azaleas in the garden to make you feel better. Azaleas are your favorite!"

Sarah gave a final angry glance towards Double D, who grinned weakly in response, before letting Jimmy accompany her to the sidelines where the other kids were standing. It embarrassed her to no end to lose a race to someone so terrible at sports; but at least since Double D was an Ed, she could always find another reason to pound him later for the embarrassment... even if some small part of her would kinda like to see him win the race now that she couldn't.

After pulling him up off of the ground, Eddy held up Edd's arm triumphantly. "And so... the winner of round one! Double D!" he announced, grinning madly. Things were going right for a change. "Get ready for round two!"

Kevin grinned as he did some last-minute stretches. _It'll be a piece of cake to win this lame-o contest if I have to go up against Double Dweeb in the final round. All I gotta do is get past Rolf and... uh-oh._ He paused in mid-stretch, a look of alarm etched on his face.

Nazz.

Kevin swallowed a lump in his throat and scratched his head in thought. How the heck was he gonna bring himself to make _Nazz_ lose?? Well, maybe Rolf would take care of that first. He really didn't want her to lose, but what could he do? After all, how would he keep his reputation as the coolest guy and best athlete in the cul-de-sac intact if he lost a stupid floor skating race? Especially to a _girl_? But then, on the other hand... what if Nazz were to hold a grudge against him if he _did_ win? How was he supposed to impress her if she wanted nothing to do with him?

"This is _not_ cool," he muttered.

"Next round! Rolf versus Nazz versus Kevin!" Eddy announced, jolting Kevin out of his thoughts. He pointed to the starting line as the three contestants lined up, Rolf and Nazz appearing rather confident while Kevin suddenly looked a bit unsure.

"You guys know the drill." Eddy held up the pistol again. "On your mark... get set.... GO!"

Edd looked up as Eddy shot the squirt gun, soaking his ceiling again. "Eddy, could you _please_ clean that up?? Mother will be so peeved if-"

"Can it, will ya? A little water never hurt nobody!"

"Except the wicked witch of the whippoorwill," Ed corrected.

Edd sighed disconsolately and sat down with his back against the wall to regain his energy as he brought his attention back to the race. He was going to require all the strength he could muster for the final race, regardless as to which of the three would win this round...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Upon entering the kitchen on the first lap, Rolf was in the lead and rather quick to execute his plan. After glancing behind him to find that Kevin's attention was predictably on Nazz instead of what was ahead of him, he reached over and pulled Edd's refrigerator out so that it blocked Kevin's lane. Snickering, he quickly resumed skating towards the finish line as he heard a resounding 'smack' and a startled gasp from Nazz.

Nazz stopped momentarily to check on Kevin. "Kevin, are you all right??" 

Mustering all the dignity he could while still being plastered face-first to the side of Edd's refrigerator like an oversized magnet, Kevin managed a thumbs-up sign and a muffled, barely audible "I'm cool..."

Assured of Kevin's health - if not his damaged pride - Nazz skated on to catch up with Rolf.

Meanwhile, Edd was debating on getting up to check on his kitchen. He had heard a rather loud crash and Nazz's inquiry of Kevin's well-being, and then saw Rolf skating out, chuckling as he finished his first lap. None of that could possibly bode well. Upon further contemplation, however, he decided he probably didn't want to see the damage yet; he was having enough stress worrying about getting the anchor back _without_ having to agonize over whatever had just taken place in the kitchen as well. He'd just have to hope that if anything was broken, it was repairable...

_This is as simple to Rolf as taking parsley from a cow - which is very simple because cows do not eat parsley!_ Rolf thought, grinning confidently to himself. However, he looked behind him in alarm as he heard Nazz's voice.

"You think you can win that easy, Rolf!?" Nazz asked as she put all her energy into catching up.

"Schlorp!" Rolf turned back ahead and kicked up the speed, passing the finish line and ending the second lap. He needed to get rid of Nazz - and quickly. He'd hoped that she would have spent a little more time hovering over Kevin who, as he had noted with amusement when he passed by, was still firmly attached to the refrigerator with apparently no hope of prying himself free before the end of the race.

"Go-go Nazz-girl skates faster than the chickens that flee from Papa's pruning shears," Rolf muttered to himself. His eyes narrowed as his grin returned. "But Rolf will fix that..."

As Rolf began to dig in his pockets for something to slow his opponent down, Nazz worked harder to catch up. She had absolutely no intention of letting Rolf take out whatever he was looking for. She was well aware of how good a cheater he was, and the only surefire way to prevent falling for his tricks was to prevent him from cheating in the first place.

"No, you don't!" she yelled as she caught up, skating right beside him. Rolf looked up just in time to feel his legs being kicked out from underneath him, sending him to the ground with a pained "Heink!"

Nazz smiled, thankful for all those martial arts classes she'd started taking last year, and continued on to the finish line, which was only a few feet away.

All of the other kids looked on with excitement as Nazz ended the second race victorious. All aside from Edd, anyway. As the others cheered, Edd suddenly found himself unwittingly in the same predicament Kevin had been in... how would he beat Nazz?? The very concept of dishonestly securing a victory from her - whether it was following rules or not - was unthinkable.

"And the winner of round two - Nazz!" Eddy announced, holding her arm up as he had Edd's before. "And now... for the moment we've all been waiting for! On to round-"

"Um, Eddy?" Eddy looked up at Nazz's questioning voice. "Do you mind if we take a break?" Seeing Eddy about to protest, she leaned in closer, bringing her voice down so Edd wouldn't hear. "Don't you think someone should peel Kevin off Double D's refrigerator before he notices...?"

Blinking, Eddy glanced into the kitchen to see Kevin still firmly planted in the side of the refrigerator. His barely contained laughter was short-lived, however, when he noticed the sizeable Kevin-shaped imprint in the refrigerator as well. He nervously turned back to Nazz.

"Yeah... a break sounds good..." Eddy turned to the rest of the kids. "Okay, intermission time! We'll do the final round in five minutes!"

"What are we on a mission for, Eddy??" Ed asked excitedly.

Eddy sighed irritably. "To keep the Great Nagging Monster happy so we can avoid his Ultimate Nag Attack, Ed."

Ed gasped. "I've seen it, Eddy! We must be careful!" He clutched at Eddy, glancing around fretfully. "If we do not proceed with caution, he will nag us to death with his horrible nagging nags of nagness!"

Eddy snorted. "No kidding." Seeing Edd busying himself with inspecting Jonny's head for damage as Rolf sat next to them, apparently awaiting treatment as well, Eddy headed into the kitchen with Ed. "Let's go, Lumpy."

"Ed? Eddy? Where are you going?"

Eddy nervously turned at Edd's voice. "Oh, uh, just getting a drink."

Ed lit up, an idea hitting him. "Oh yeah! Maybe a nice, cool drink will make the Great Nagging Monst-" Eddy quickly clasped his hand over Ed's mouth.

"Can I trust you two to notify me if something in the kitchen needs repairing?" he asked, paying no mind to Ed's words as he wrapped a bandage around Jonny's head to keep the ice pack on.

"Uh, y-yeah. Sure thing, Sockhead," Eddy replied with a grin. Glaring at Ed in a "keep your big mouth shut" manner, he removed his hand from Ed's mouth and dragged him into the kitchen with him. They needed to pry Kevin out of the refrigerator and find a way to fix the damage before the next round - otherwise Edd would be too preoccupied with his newest nervous breakdown to win the race. And that was something he couldn't afford to chance.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Pull harder, Ed!"

Eddy hopped from foot to foot, wringing his hands anxiously. It wouldn't be long before Edd was done treating the injured, and the race would be on again - and they were no closer to getting Kevin free than they had been when they started. To make matters worse, Eddy had yet to figure out a good way to hide the large indentation in the refrigerator after Kevin was freed.

Ed had Kevin by the waist and was pulling as hard as he could to dislodge the boy. Kevin's muffled insults sufficed to express his discomfort over Ed's futile attempts.

"He is... stubborn... Eddy..." Ed managed through clenched teeth as he continued his efforts at freeing Kevin. "Don't worry, Kevin..." he consoled as he paused to catch his breath before tugging on him again. "I won't let the... errgh!... refrigerator... ungh!... devour you...!"

"Just get me outta here, dorks!"

Kevin's barely intelligible reply caused Eddy to grimace. How selfish could someone get? "You're just lucky we care enough to let ya outta there! We could just leave ya, y'know!" He grinned slyly, leaning against the refrigerator. "So... exactly how many boxes of jawbreakers is this worth to ya, anyway? Three? Five? Ten?"

Kevin would have retorted if Ed hadn't nearly broken his ribs with his latest yank. Strained growl combined with muffled shriek as Ed tugged harder than ever to free Kevin, blinking away the sweat that fell in his eyes.

"Man, he's stuck real good," Eddy mumbled, wondering exactly how hard Kevin had to have slammed into the refrigerator to get jammed that deep into it... not that he was worried or anything, of course. Alarm did cross his face, however, when Kevin looked about to be ripped in half by Ed's tugging. "Ed, don't _kill_ him!"

The struggling was put to a quick end as Kevin slipped from Ed's grip and slammed back firmly into the side of the refrigerator. Ed, who had been in mid-tug, was sent flying back, crashing into the counter across the room. The impact of Ed's collision with the counter jarred several dishes stored in the cabinet overhead, sending them crashing down on top of the boy.

"Great..." Eddy muttered as his gaze shifted back and forth between Kevin and the broken dishes scattered on the floor. He should've known better than to ask Ed to help _fix_ something. "Now we're toast for sure..."

"Eddy..." Edd's troubled voice came from the living room as he finished looking over Rolf for injuries. "Are you two okay in there?"

Eddy laughed weakly, grabbing all the sticky notes he could find. It was time for Plan B. "Yeah, yeah, Sockhead! A few things just fell on the floor, that's all! Everything's peachy keen!"

"And sticky," Ed added, grabbing some sticky notes from Eddy and covering his face with them.

"Ed, give those back - I need those!" Eddy whispered anxiously as he grabbed the notes from his friend.

"_'Sticky?'_"

Eddy gulped as he heard Edd approaching. He quickly shoved the notes into Ed's arms and raced towards the threshold just as Edd was about to peek in.

"Eddy? What's Ed talking-"

"Ed said 'icky,' Double D!" he explained with a nervous laugh as he ushered Edd away from the kitchen. "He was just trying to eat his hair again! Heh heh, the big lug..."

Edd blinked as Eddy desperately tried to maintain a convincing smile. "But, Eddy... Ed _likes_ to-"

"Oh, look! Is that one of your beetles crawling down the stairs!?"

Edd gasped in alarm as he rushed to the staircase. "Josephine! Have you escaped from your biological containment unit _again!?_" He plopped down by the stairs and, after whipping out his magnifying glass, fretfully began his search. "How many times have I told you that it's for your own safety that you take advantage of the bionetwork that I've painstakingly provided for you? I mean, honestly, how can you constantly..."

_Jeez, even _bugs_ aren't safe from this guy's nagging!_ Eddy mused as he watched Edd continue his lecture while inspecting the stairs for his errant beetle. He shuddered to think what kind of parent Edd would become.

Returning to the kitchen, Eddy grabbed the notes from Ed - or, what were left after Ed had stuffed a good portion of them in his ears to see how many he could fit in his head - and quickly finished his "repairs," plastering them on top of Kevin until he was completely buried within the confines of the layered post-its.

"Boy, Eddy, that sure is yellow," Ed praised as he finished cleaning up by stuffing the broken dishes back in the cabinet.

Eddy stepped back to admire his work and grinned. "He'll never know the difference!" He grabbed Ed. "Come on! One more race for Sockhead to win and then we'll be swimming in jawbreakers!"

Ignoring the muffled "dorks!" that made its way through the layers of sticky notes, Eddy headed back into the living room with Ed in tow. He could almost feel the money burning a hole in his pocket. It was time to get that anchor back so they could get on with their lives and, more importantly, get to the candy store.


End file.
